Is that a Bubbery in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Bubbery or Stubbery? Now that’s a hard choice. I didn’t want plain yogurt, for sure, but how do I choose between those two? They’re supposedly fruits, but I’ve never heard of them. I ask him to repeat himself, so he slows down and enunciates “Bub-Bery or Stub-bery”. Just pick one? But what if I pick Stubbery and it turns out Bubbery is some fantastic local fruit? I’d sure hate to miss out. Awkward silence. Ah, ok, Blueberry and Strawberry. Got it. Make mine Bubbery.
I’ve been to Thailand many times and have until this trip never ventured down to Khao San Road. I don’t think I’ll be back. It’s not that it’s terrible, but it’s just a Thai version of Berkeley’s Telegraph Avenue. Bums, cheap stuff for sale, drug dealers, scammers of all nationalities, broke-ass tourists. Megan was looking for silver beads and we were able to get them for about 20 THB per gram. Good or bad price? I have no idea, but for her, compared with buying in Malaysia or online, she was very happy with the cost. The trip to Khao San Road was mostly uneventful. We grabbed a streetside bowl of fried noodles with egg for about 65 cents, shared it, then found a taxi for the ride back to Sukhumvit.
The taxi idea was probably a mistake, at least to take it all the way back to the hotel at around 5:30pm. I think the best move would have been to take it to the closest BTS Train or MRT subway station. The drive itself took over an hour. That wasn’t the worst part, though… Stepping into the cab, I was surprised to see a woman driver. I suppose there are a few driving around Bangkok, but this was my first experience. It’s wasn’t quite Maggie Cheung in “Sausalito”, but she did have a nice new clean cab. That’s where the “nice” ended however. She seemed to understand “Robinson’s” and “Sukhumvit” but clearly had no idea how to get there. She spent a good five minutes on her cellphone talking to some poor soul trying to get directions. Now, please…from Khao San Road to Sukhumvit, unless you were driving a water buffalo through the fields last week, you should know exactly how to get from one place to the other. Bangkok is a strange and mysterious place, however. Before I get too sidetracked with the story of her getting lost, let me file my primary complaint: the woman was a maniac! She made car after car slam on their brakes and blast the horn, sent scooters flying like bowling pins, and had Megan and I ready to puke in our shopping bags. She used two feet to drive her automatic deathmobile – one on the gas and one on the brake – and she churned them like a church organist. When it became clear that she was going to take us on a never-ending Autopia nightmare, I called our hotel and got the concierge. I explain to him our dilemma and then handed the phone to the maniac. After what must have been another five minutes (poor concierge!) we heard the blessed “ka ka ka” of understanding, got the phone back, and were home in another ten minutes. We were never so happy to get out of a cab. I’ve been in smelly cabs, cabs with bad suspensions, cabs with obnoxious drivers, cabs with random other passengers (Greece)…but this was the ride I never want to duplicate. That woman should not be driving…ANYTHING…much less a taxicab!
I mention the Concierge at our hotel…and I have to note that the entire hotel stay was superb. The staff was simply fantastic, from the greeting and introduction we got from our check-in host to the bellman who saw us on our way to the airport. Every single request was handled promptly, efficiently, and accurately. The genuine warmth of the staff was also a rare treat in a big-city hotel. Let me note a couple of examples. I called the concierge and asked if they knew of a travel agency that could help me with getting a visa for China. They said to come down to the concierge desk and they’d take care of it…and take care of it they did! They had the Visa form right there at the desk (they had forms for many, many countries), took my passport, had the travel agency courier pick it up, take it to the Chinese Embassy, get the Visa issued, and all returned back to me the same day. It doesn’t get any easier than that. Last night we wanted to have dinner at Koi and I called the restaurant directly to try and make reservations. They would not accept a reservation for two for the time we wanted. I am not exactly sure why, but I think they only take reservations for groups for six or more… At any rate, frustrated, I called our Concierge and explained what we wanted. Ten minutes later, an envelope is slipped under the door which has a letter confirming our reservation for two at 7:30, as well as a business card from Koi and taxi instructions. Due to my getting sick, we needed to have the room made-up at odd hours. A call to guest services and housekeeping was in and out in a flash. About the housekeeping…I am surprised, to tell the truth, that many $200+/night hotels don’t have spotless housekeeping. This is particularly true for American hotels, but I’ve seen it world-wide. Our hotel, the Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit, had by far the cleanest room I’ve stayed in ever. Nice touches like organizing our toiletries on a towel on the sink countertop were standard practice for the place. Random receipts left strewn about were collected and put in a neat stack, clothes were hung up, change put in the valet, newspapers and magazines folded and stacked, shoes lined up, etc. To top it all off…we were staying using points, not cash, and were given a great room with a superb view.
Lots of people bug me in America – that goes without saying. A few people bug me in Thailand. The Indian tailor shop touts who follow me for half a block begging me to come to their stores – they’re pretty annoying. Of course, they look at me and know instantly that I am not going to be able to buy anything “off the rack” in Thailand because of my size. What passes for XXL here is like L in the US. XXXL? Sorry, Sir, XL Biggest. It’s not their fault at all – I am just too big! And this, as I said, the tailors know. The same is true in Hong Kong and they come after me like the tiger goes after the slow, fat deer. But back to Thailand…who else bugs me? The immigration officials. It’s not that they give me a terrible time…but they just have a knack for messing with me. When I was coming in, I was worried about not having enough blank, right-facing pages. I would need two – one for each Visa for China and Vietnam. There were plenty of open boxes for the Thai agent to stamp, but nooooooooooooooooooooooo she had to go and but her big fat greasy purple stamp right smack dab on one of the two open pages. So, you tell me…was she just a complete moron, or was she messing with me? We’ll get back to the immigration officials after a short side-story. It’s related.
I have visions of getting turned back at the airport in Hanoi because I don’t have a right-facing blank page left in my passport. Sure, I’ve got a left-facing page, but, well, you cannot argue your way into a country, and if it’s a right-facing blank page they want… There was only one way to remedy this – go to the American Embassy in Bangkok and get some extra pages. Luckily, the Embassy does this while-you-wait, and for free! Unluckily, there was a reported ‘demonstration’. For this, the cabs were reluctant to go and I took the skytrain and walked 15 minutes. The demonstration was a peaceful group of women sitting down and singing...on the OTHER side of the street! Editor's note: Now in Vietnam, we are heading to dinner and I will continue with the end of the Bangkok journey when we return.
I’ve been to Thailand many times and have until this trip never ventured down to Khao San Road. I don’t think I’ll be back. It’s not that it’s terrible, but it’s just a Thai version of Berkeley’s Telegraph Avenue. Bums, cheap stuff for sale, drug dealers, scammers of all nationalities, broke-ass tourists. Megan was looking for silver beads and we were able to get them for about 20 THB per gram. Good or bad price? I have no idea, but for her, compared with buying in Malaysia or online, she was very happy with the cost. The trip to Khao San Road was mostly uneventful. We grabbed a streetside bowl of fried noodles with egg for about 65 cents, shared it, then found a taxi for the ride back to Sukhumvit.
The taxi idea was probably a mistake, at least to take it all the way back to the hotel at around 5:30pm. I think the best move would have been to take it to the closest BTS Train or MRT subway station. The drive itself took over an hour. That wasn’t the worst part, though… Stepping into the cab, I was surprised to see a woman driver. I suppose there are a few driving around Bangkok, but this was my first experience. It’s wasn’t quite Maggie Cheung in “Sausalito”, but she did have a nice new clean cab. That’s where the “nice” ended however. She seemed to understand “Robinson’s” and “Sukhumvit” but clearly had no idea how to get there. She spent a good five minutes on her cellphone talking to some poor soul trying to get directions. Now, please…from Khao San Road to Sukhumvit, unless you were driving a water buffalo through the fields last week, you should know exactly how to get from one place to the other. Bangkok is a strange and mysterious place, however. Before I get too sidetracked with the story of her getting lost, let me file my primary complaint: the woman was a maniac! She made car after car slam on their brakes and blast the horn, sent scooters flying like bowling pins, and had Megan and I ready to puke in our shopping bags. She used two feet to drive her automatic deathmobile – one on the gas and one on the brake – and she churned them like a church organist. When it became clear that she was going to take us on a never-ending Autopia nightmare, I called our hotel and got the concierge. I explain to him our dilemma and then handed the phone to the maniac. After what must have been another five minutes (poor concierge!) we heard the blessed “ka ka ka” of understanding, got the phone back, and were home in another ten minutes. We were never so happy to get out of a cab. I’ve been in smelly cabs, cabs with bad suspensions, cabs with obnoxious drivers, cabs with random other passengers (Greece)…but this was the ride I never want to duplicate. That woman should not be driving…ANYTHING…much less a taxicab!
I mention the Concierge at our hotel…and I have to note that the entire hotel stay was superb. The staff was simply fantastic, from the greeting and introduction we got from our check-in host to the bellman who saw us on our way to the airport. Every single request was handled promptly, efficiently, and accurately. The genuine warmth of the staff was also a rare treat in a big-city hotel. Let me note a couple of examples. I called the concierge and asked if they knew of a travel agency that could help me with getting a visa for China. They said to come down to the concierge desk and they’d take care of it…and take care of it they did! They had the Visa form right there at the desk (they had forms for many, many countries), took my passport, had the travel agency courier pick it up, take it to the Chinese Embassy, get the Visa issued, and all returned back to me the same day. It doesn’t get any easier than that. Last night we wanted to have dinner at Koi and I called the restaurant directly to try and make reservations. They would not accept a reservation for two for the time we wanted. I am not exactly sure why, but I think they only take reservations for groups for six or more… At any rate, frustrated, I called our Concierge and explained what we wanted. Ten minutes later, an envelope is slipped under the door which has a letter confirming our reservation for two at 7:30, as well as a business card from Koi and taxi instructions. Due to my getting sick, we needed to have the room made-up at odd hours. A call to guest services and housekeeping was in and out in a flash. About the housekeeping…I am surprised, to tell the truth, that many $200+/night hotels don’t have spotless housekeeping. This is particularly true for American hotels, but I’ve seen it world-wide. Our hotel, the Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit, had by far the cleanest room I’ve stayed in ever. Nice touches like organizing our toiletries on a towel on the sink countertop were standard practice for the place. Random receipts left strewn about were collected and put in a neat stack, clothes were hung up, change put in the valet, newspapers and magazines folded and stacked, shoes lined up, etc. To top it all off…we were staying using points, not cash, and were given a great room with a superb view.
Lots of people bug me in America – that goes without saying. A few people bug me in Thailand. The Indian tailor shop touts who follow me for half a block begging me to come to their stores – they’re pretty annoying. Of course, they look at me and know instantly that I am not going to be able to buy anything “off the rack” in Thailand because of my size. What passes for XXL here is like L in the US. XXXL? Sorry, Sir, XL Biggest. It’s not their fault at all – I am just too big! And this, as I said, the tailors know. The same is true in Hong Kong and they come after me like the tiger goes after the slow, fat deer. But back to Thailand…who else bugs me? The immigration officials. It’s not that they give me a terrible time…but they just have a knack for messing with me. When I was coming in, I was worried about not having enough blank, right-facing pages. I would need two – one for each Visa for China and Vietnam. There were plenty of open boxes for the Thai agent to stamp, but nooooooooooooooooooooooo she had to go and but her big fat greasy purple stamp right smack dab on one of the two open pages. So, you tell me…was she just a complete moron, or was she messing with me? We’ll get back to the immigration officials after a short side-story. It’s related.
I have visions of getting turned back at the airport in Hanoi because I don’t have a right-facing blank page left in my passport. Sure, I’ve got a left-facing page, but, well, you cannot argue your way into a country, and if it’s a right-facing blank page they want… There was only one way to remedy this – go to the American Embassy in Bangkok and get some extra pages. Luckily, the Embassy does this while-you-wait, and for free! Unluckily, there was a reported ‘demonstration’. For this, the cabs were reluctant to go and I took the skytrain and walked 15 minutes. The demonstration was a peaceful group of women sitting down and singing...on the OTHER side of the street! Editor's note: Now in Vietnam, we are heading to dinner and I will continue with the end of the Bangkok journey when we return.
posted by Free Buffet at 5:51 AM
2 Comments:
Could the cab driver be a lost relative of Serge's? His Dad used to drive in the same two-footed style.
Unless Dad left some unknown seed around Asia a la Larry Hillblom, I have to figure it's just concidence. I did get a bit of that nostalgic car sickness, however...
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